Memories

It has been three years today.

Like when Kennedy was shot and 9/11, I have memories indelibly etched on my being.

I still feel everything. Every single moment of that day.

A phone call from Italy. Instructions and prayer. A call to our pastor and wife and their immediate presence at 42.

The house filling with family from church; praying, getting airline tickets, securing international phones, calling the military, praying. "Oh, God please"

Calls from Italy every fifteen minutes.

Calls to Wisconsin.

Calls to St Kitts.

Instructions and tears.

A heart pounding with the assurance...."God is good" "God is good"

Rob home, terminating his surgery day. Everyone else cancelled.

Chris home from work.

Ethan in Manhattan in a private office, monitoring phone calls.

But no.

And then we were off. And we are still going down this road to restoration, hope and recovery.

A trip to Syracuse in the back seat unable to stop crying, Bible on my lap.

A flight attendant in NYC asking if I was okay.

Explanation.

She rushed out to a store in the airport to buy a leather journal and boarded the flight with it telling me to write everything down.

My mom's heart grieves for her child and for his mom and for a son whose best friend is gone.

Someone sent me this today.

"I remind myself that suffering is not unique to us. It is the destiny of humanity. If this world were the only one there is, then suffering has the final say and all of us are a sorry lot. But generations of faithful Chrsitians have gone before and will come after, and they have believed or will believe what I believe in the depths of my soul. Jesus is the center of it all. He defeated sin and death through his crucifixion and resurrection. The light gradually dawns once again, in my heart, and hope returns. I find reason and courage to keep going and believing. Once again my soul increases it's capacity for hope as well as for sadness. I end up believing with greater depth and joy than I had before, even in my sorrow"
(Sittser, A Grace Disguised)

There will be restoration. A promise.

And as we continually put one foot forward we see and feel His presence, His love and His faithfulness.

I am far away from everyone today. Not by choice but by necessity.

But He is near.

To us all.