Friday, November 30, 2007

Bearing Precious Seed

We are leaving Italy and flying back to the States in the morning. Elizabeth will be going back to her "home of record" as they say in the military.

And she comes back bearing seed.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.
He that goes forth and weeps, bearing precious seed,
shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
bringing his sheaves with him.
Pslam 126:5,6

I expect that we are all bearing precious seed. Our hearts are tender with all the tears and sorrows that have flowed not only from our eyes but from the depths of our souls. We have sown in tears, we have gone forth and wept. And so I believe that we will reap in joy and we will come again with rejoicing. If the first is true, I can trust that the result will be true. He tells me that we do not have to doubt that it will come, so we will not doubt. We will wait for it.

I do not know what the precious seed that has been deposited in our hearts is exactly. And I think it may be different for each one of us. But I know that God calls it precious. We must guard it and nourish it. We must spend some quiet time alone with our hearts and the Lord. No, perhaps we will need to spend much time alone with the Lord, and then in the fellowship of other believers so that we encourage each other, sustain each other and experience what the rest of the psalm promises, singing, laughter, gladness and rejoicing. I know that He will cause this precious seed to grow and develop and produce fruit. And we will come again......

Love from Italy

Monday, November 26, 2007

Monday

It's a nice day here in Italy. The rain has stopped and the sun is out. Elizabeth has gone to lunch with Rachael and to say goodbye. Dave, Rachael's husband, was Christian's chief warrent officer and his co-pilot, and she is leaving tomorrow.

Elizabeth has previously shown me where to get on the walking trail on base, so I decide to go out and get some exercise. I step outside and notice that the clouds have fallen down around the base of the mountains but I can see the summits of the Dolomites clearly standing above in the clear blue sky. I must have forgotten all my earth science and can't think of why this should be, but I know there is a simple and logical explanation. Can anyone enlighten me?

It's interesting living on this air force base. I can see why Elizabeth liked this military life. There is purpose and structure, direction and discipline, organization and unity. The walking path goes around the perimeter of the base for a mile and a half. It's interesting, the chain link fence with the spikey barb wire on top gives an ominious feel to those outside but for those inside it represents protection and safety. Only those who have identification and a pass, being sponsored by one who has legitimate reason for access to the base, can come inside that fence. Our friends and family are inside and potential enemies are outside.

All construction in Italy is concrete, steel and stone. We noticed this when walking around Elizabeth's neighborhood. Not just commerical structures are concrete but residential homes too. Luciano, an Italian who is married to Sharon, a DODDS middle school teacher, commented to us that the first time he was in the states and saw a house being built out of wood, stick construction, he wondered how the structure would stand. Here one sees huge cranes dotting the landscape- how else could you build a home or building? And so too on the base. All the facilities are made of concrete, and there is a lot of building on this base. There seem to be permanent, large cement mixers stationed by the new construction. I pass the concrete hangers dotting the area to my right, housing the F-16's. Many are out as I pass by, cockpits open and men walking around, inspecting or perhaps preparing to fly. Buses and large green tank trucks with orange writing, JET FUEL, pass me as I walk. Civilian cars and trucks go by along with military vehicles. I pass the fitness center, tennis courts, a golf course, office buildings, the officers club, housing. This is like a little walled village, but most communities do not have fighter planes and helicopters living among them.

On my way back there is the deafening sound of two F16's taking off simultaneously. As I watch them ascend together I get shivers down my back. They look magnificent as they race up into the sky towards the mountains. And as I continue walking I am treated to that sight two more times. They are flying some mission. Then a series of single jets take off. My father was a B-17 pilot in WWII perhaps that is why I find this so interesting.

Michelle brings Grady and Dyllan back to our apartment. They have a 2:30 appointment with the base vet, in preparation of our departure on Saturday. Elizabeth will be back soon.

The Land of the Living

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13


So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but what is unseen.
2 Corinthians 4:18


For now we live, if we stand fast in the Lord
1 Thessalonians 3:8

These scriptures have comforted and motivated me these last few days. They have new meaning in my life. And I choose to believe them and fasten them to my heart.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thanksgiving in Italy

We spent Thanksgiving in Italy, seperated from our immediate family, but engrafted into the Polizzi family. Linda and Tony are wonderful friends of Christian and Elizabeth's. He is a diplomat and works for the embassy. He speaks Italian. He went to the hospital with Liz and translated for her. He pleaded with the Italian doctors to do everything they possibly could and not give up on him. "He's strong, he's young and he has a great will to live." He held Elizabeth for me when she went into see Christian and comforted her afterwards. He's an elder in their church and he's tender, kind and he loved Christian. And we love him, and Linda and their four sons. And we are thankful for them in Italy. We realize this is the first holiday without Christian but we do not speak that thought out loud. And we are so thankful that our men at home were engrafted into the Sinclair family for this Thanksgiving and for the church that is providing for them during our absence.

It has been raining here the last three days. It is grey and cold. The rain today seems to float in the air instead of filing down in sheets. The mountains have disappeared in the mist and gloom. We thought to go to Salzburg today with a group from the base for some diversion but at 3:30am decide against the travel in this weather. And we go back to bed for a few extra hours. The fog of grief and fatigue seems to be lifting a bit and we are thankful. We are looking forward to coming home. A place that accepts one because of our needs, a place to feel secure despite our lacks and failings. A place that we find refuge and healing and restoration. A place that begins with family and extends to church, friends, neighborhood and community. A place where we can be silent and hear the quiet, gentle voice of our Lord.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

THF

We have taken the next step. Yesterday the last of the unaccompanied household goods was packed, crated and sealed, and taken to wherever they wait for the next ship to USA. And we moved to THF, temporary housing facility. Everything in the Army is an acronym. One has to learn this new language when entering the military, they speak in acronyms. We are currently living in a two bedroom apartment right on base. It actually is very nice and it willl be convenient for Elizabeth to execute the last of details involving the car, Defender, dogs and orders.

Maja and Kay have left this morning, to return to Wisconsin. As we embrace and say "see you later" she whispers that she will miss me. I know. I will miss her too. We have grown close these past two weeks. Common grief does that to people. But mothers, I think, share a peculiar bond. We have known the wonderful, almost indescribable, feeling of having a life formed and growing inside of us. The joys and hopes that emerge when we see our first born, naked, slimy, screaming and beautiful, oh, so beautiful, as they are presented to us in the delivery room. And we love them immensely, immediately. I know what she felt then but, can only imagine what she feels now. Lord, bless them with safety as they return to their Wisconsin family.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Marching Forward

I am up at 4:30 am here and can not sleep. We are inexorably marching forward towards something we do not want to do, go home without Christian.

We have organized Elizabeth"s things in the living room that she will ship home. Pictures Christian has framed, clothes, books, CD's and DVD's, photos, bed clothes and special books. The men have come and packed these with great effeciency and they have been crated up and taken away.

We continue to work through the day removing things from the closets and drawers, putting pots and pans back in original boxes, returning loaned items, packing suitcases, washing clothes, curtains and bed linen. I notice however, we become quieter and more somber as the evening progresses. Tomorrow begins the end of Italy. The household contents will be packed, crated, shipped and stored.

The downstairs is Christian's domain. How does one pack up the vestiges of a persons life? Somehow it is too small a concept. Especially for someone who embraced life in such a big way. I'm drawn downstairs at see a part of his life one more time. Kay and Maja are sleeping in one of the bedrooms downstairs so I quietly turn on lights and experience who he is and what he loved. His CD collection is in the hallway, stacked in the Emergency Clean Air Mask cabinet that came from his grandfather. Bob Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel, Pearl Jam, Mozart, DC Talk, Isaiah 6, Sponge, Dave Matthews Band, Eric Clapton, Roling Stones and so many other artists grace his collection. His Tanglefoot CD lives in the Volvo I think. What a variety, but I don't think he was much for country, even though Elizabeth tried to convert him. He has huge metal and wooden signs all over the walls. Now exactly where did he get that sign that says "DEADLY FORCE AUTHORIZED stay back 20 meters" and then words in Arabic? Kuwait, I'm sure. "Wall of Drug of South Dakota", IRONHORSE, No Parking During Snow Emergency and old pipes from his Harley dominate the walls downstairs along with a "real" railroad crossing sign, including the eight inch diameter eight foot post. Dozens of license plates are stung together and displayed on the walls, Alaska and South Carolina have recently been added to his collection. The pink flamingo light shows the way to his "dressing room" He has set himself up with his own private space, seperated by beige beads hanging from the doorway. I slip through the beads hoping they will not jingle too much and wake the girls. He has wardrobes with his clothes, plastic bins packed with tee shirts and pants lovingly bought from various thrift stores and bookshelves packed with books, many books, he is a reader. Plato, Army Command Guide, Earnest Hemingway, Brothers Karamazov, Calvin and Hobbs, history books, Bible Concordances, Systembatic Theology, Becoming a Person of Influence, year books, and most precious to me, many books on Spiritual leadership.

As I turn to leave I notice his recliner and on the floor in front of it is "Preparing for Marriage God's Way" It appears that he was just recently reading it and I sigh and wonder at his devotion to do this thing called marriage and doing it the right way. He was trying and he was succeeding. My daughter was so loved and cherished. Thank you, Father.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

DETAILS

Elizabeth is swamped in details. I can see now why each wife is assigned their own casualty officier, there is a lot to think about. What things should be included in the group of belongings that will be stored for a year, what 300-1000 pounds of goods will be shipped to 42 EAst Main, what does she want to bring in her suitcases on December 1, what needs to go with Kay and Maja when they leave on Thursday, how to get the car shipped home, the motorcycle to Wisconsin, the dogs and their crates with their passports and health certificates, her military orders to leave Italy, and a miriad of other concerns. She has received a 3 inch three ring binder fillled with details. She has filled out forms and papers and permissions etc. everyday. One group of men come to pack up her 30 day to delivery cargo, another crew will arrive to box and crate the long term storage belongs. Another group to crate and load the motorcycle. She is calling different agencies and offices to arrange stuff and I am amazed at how much she knows in her brief involvement with the military. Joel, her casualty officer, comes everyday. He is very sweet and efficient and caring. I really like and appreciate him. He stood quietly beside her the whole day last Thursday. He met us as we came onto base, was with her in the receiving room, behind her at the service and at her side for the hours that she was receiving people at the reception. He has become not only our guide but our friend.

The next few days will be packing. For days we have been organizing, sorting, grouping and discarding. Pray that everything gets done in a timely way and arrives where and when it should.

The memorial service in Racine will be on Saturday, December 8th. She will have a service in the Arlington area on December 11 in the evening and the internment on December 12 at 11:00am. The details of each is yet to be finalized but each is open to whomever would like to come. We love you all and want you to know that we appreciate you standing with us, praying for us and writing to us. The grace and peace of God is felt here in Italy.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Death,Unity,Venice,Returning

Death is too hard and it is not right. Without our consent, Adam made a covenant with death and we were forced to follow. It hurts. We feel pain, sorrow, incompleteness and grief. And this is right. Death was not in God's original plan. It is His enemy. But He promises that this last enemy, death, will be destroyed. (I Corinthians 15:26) We look forward to that, we yearn for it and we can confidently trust that death is ultimately swallowed up in victory. So, we can confidently say, "O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory? Thanks be to God, which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." I Corinthians 15:55,57

Psalm 133
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, tht ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard; that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon and as the dew tht descendedupon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.

We are knit together, the two families. We are one. We started this several years ago and have slowly meshed our families together. But now, we are bound together, we have been forged together through this firey furnace of loss. And the Lord has commanded his blessing upon us. We feel God's grace daily. We feel His power and love. His mercy and peace have hovered over us. This past week we have cried together, broken bread together, worshiped together, laughed together, held hands together, cried and rejoiced in the Lord together.

Elizabeth needed some private time yesterday so the 10 of us took the train down to Venice. All the siblings, plus two excited dogs, piled into Christian's beloved Defender and off the two cars went to catch the train from Sicile. Jon drove and immediately feel in love with Christian's vehicle. Upon arriving in Venice, we split up the two internation phones, decided on a time to meet back at the station and took off in two groups. We did not get very far before we were all clumped together in one group, strolling through the winding streets of Venice; keeping together by whistling the "code whistle" from the "Court Jester" which we had seen the night before. Venice knew the "Americans" had arrived. I guess the 10 of us just had to see Venice together. We did have a couple of blips in the screen, when at two seperate times we were seperated from two individuals in the group for a period of time. But we were eventually reunited and I will let you try to figure out who the culprits were. Our stroll to San Marco square included stopping for lunch, shopping,enjoying beautiful vistas down the various canals, and a coffee and hot chocolate stop before we departed.

Today our men have returned home. They are on three different flights back to the US. We stood in Elizabeth's dining room holding hands in a circle. Rob read Psalm 121, the Lord will preserve our going out and coming in....., we prayed and they left in two vans driven by wonderful Army men. Men who have made their presence and assistance available to us at any time of the night or day. Thanks to all those precious men and women in uniform. The women will remain and help Elizabeth with the remaining packing, sorting and the host of other details involved in her returning to the US.

"Our soul does wait on the Lord, and in his word do we hope" Psalm 130:5

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Eulogy

This was Phil's wonderful testimony for Christian and our Lord.

Remarks at Memorial Service: Aviano Air Base, Italy, Hangar 1
November 14, 2007 10:30 A.M. Phil Skoglund


When Captain Skoglund was born on August 2, 1976, we named him Christian. That was our highest hope for him – that he would become one of Christ’s men. We have watched that happen to a greater and greater degree as the years have passed.

Christian loved what God loves – His amazing creation - the earth, the sky, the awesome experience of mountains and water; but even more – he has loved and enjoyed the people the Lord has brought into his life. My wife Kay and I and his three siblings – Maja, Erik and Lars, his wife Liz, and many, many friends and family, have enjoyed him for 31 years. He has brought incredible warmth and always unpredictable excitement to our life in lots and lots and lots of ways. The last, and best of all, was this time in Italy with his wonderful wife Liz as they loved life and each other for these last 16 months.

We are very thankful for Christian’s opportunities in the military. He loved flying and he loved his fellow soldiers. We have been so impressed by the “military family” and their love and support. But there’s a bigger reason for my thanks. In this environment, everyone knows what it means to be under orders. It’s not just a specific responsibility but being in a state of accountability. Because of his army life, Christian has learned in recent years what it means to be under orders, not just from his military superiors, but also under orders from his loving Lord. The joy and winsomeness that you have seen in him are due to the fact that Christian embraced His command heartily.

We have heard from lots of people: military both here and around the world, many rugby players, fellow students from schools that Christian has attended, extended family,and they all say that he was a person “who was comfortable in his own skin, that he was able to stand alone in a crowd while still loving people and enjoying the situation.”

Here’s why. Scripture is clear that God makes each of us uniquely and carefully according to His design. We are never complete and truly fruitful until we cooperate with that design, and we never know that design until we relate in humility and submission to the Lord of life. We are created by Him and for Him. Christian understood that, and his actions and commitments in life were all part of his commitment to being the man that God wanted him to be.

For some time now, since Christian has been assigned around the world, our times together have ended with a hearty, “See you later!” Sometimes “later” is months or more, sometimes just tomorrow morning, but we never say “Good-bye,” it’s always “See you later!” That is no different now. It’s just that Christian has left this life, so “See you later!” may take a little longer. Christian has been so many places around the world where I still have not been, and may never be. Now he’s gone ahead to one more new place but this time I know I will join him someday. We are convinced that for those who “believe in their heart and confess with their mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord,” this is our future. In fact, eternal life, the gift of God, is an abundant life that begins at the moment the soul awakens and acknowledges the Savior. Christian has shown us all a little taste of what it means to live abundantly!

We grieve because much of what we anticipated in this life can never happen. We grieve because there is a tremendous hole in so many lives where Christian lived. We grieve because we know that our path to the next “See you later!” may be longer and more difficult than any so far, BUT we do not grieve because we are without hope, or that we have lost him forever. God’s grace will be sufficient for this life, and God’s promise will carry believing hearts into great joy. Praise God for His manifold gifts to us that have come to us in and through Christian Skoglund.

To all of you, I want to say thank you for all that you have meant to Christian and to us…

and to Christian, I want to say – SEE YOU LATER!!

Memorial

Last night was not a night for sleeping. It was a night for praying.

Christian and five of his comrades in arm will have their memorial service in the hanger that we stood in two days ago. And I believe that the Lord will sustain us and answer our prayers. We want others to see Jesus and know our hope. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear..."

We all wake before our alarms sound. Showers are taken, coffee is made, Bibles are open. Andrew comes at the appointed time to give us an escort. We arrive on base and are shown into a waiting room with the other families and many military people. All there for support and recognition of our great loss. Three brothers surround Elizabeth and give her strength for the moment.

When all is ready, the generals, Lt colonels, chaplains and Italian dignitaries have arrived and are seated they escort us in and we stand. The color guard and honor guard are in the procession. The Italian national anthem is sung followed by ours. We have a prayer and then a responsive reading from Psalm 23 and then we are seated. The "Lord's Prayer" is sung.

Brig. General Craig Franklin, the Wing Commander of the base gives a tribute, he loved his men, he is sincere, he is experiencing loss. The Italian base commander, Colonel Roberto Sardo stands and tells us he brings us a big hug for our missing friends. The Italians consider the area of the crash to be sacred soil and give thanks for the emergency rescue team that was first on the crash site. Lt colonel Nathan Lyden speaks about the men individually. And Lt colonel Troy Krings, Christian's boss in Germany, tell us that his army guys, Christian and Dave, were Godly men, they had an impact on many, dedicated to their family and friends and he will continue to build on Christian's efforts at the base. He gives a quote from Patton......"It is foolish to mourn the dead, we need to give thanks to God for men who have lived".

The eulogies begin. The first is for Captain Cartize Durham. Meka and Cartize and their children go to church with Elizabeth. And the two thousand people that fill the hanger begin to hear the gospel message. This man loved the Lord. He had great faith. He loved his family and there is hope. His family will see him one day.

The eulogies are beautiful, funny, reflective and revealing. They all have families and friends. They are loved and have died too young. All the eulogies are given by military people. All except Christian.

Phil gets up to the podium. He tells us that Christian loved the people that God brought into his life. He had an unpredictable excitment. He was comfortable in his own skin. Christian knew that God had uniquely made him and he was uniquely related to the Lord of life. Phil tells us that Christian was so thankful for being able to fly, his great love. He is thankful for his fellow soldiers, he has met people from all over the world. He never said "good-bye". He always said "See you later". This time it may take a little longer then we have been used to but we have this hope that we will be with him, just may be a little longer then we expected. Phil is forwarding his message to me and I will post it in it's entirety on my blog. I sit there stunned and praising God. the gospel has been preached in that four minute eulogy to over two thousand people. We have eternal life and we hve abundant life and we do not grieve as those without hope. We have this hope. Thank you Jesus.

The last person to be eulogized is Dave, Christian's warrant officer, and he is a Christian also. He is a man of few words but much service. He never let you down. He gave his heart to the Lord a year ago and was studying the Bible with CW2 Will Tuavargas. will discipled Dave and baptized him recently.

There is a New Testament reading from James 1:2-5 and then some reflections from the two chaplains from the Battalion and the Base. And then the benediction.

And then the hardest most heart wrenching ceremony. Roll Call. The first Sergeants for all the men step up and call out their units. The men stand and answer to their name. The missing soldier is called out. One time with his rank and last name. Silence. Again calling him with his rank, his first name and last name. Silence. Again, with his rank, first, middle and last name. Silence.

Rodney steps up in front of the families. His bottom lip is quivering and tears are in his eyes. He can not have eye contact with us or his men. He loved and appreciated Christian. They had become friends. Christians unit is behind us. Names are called out and responded to. Then:
Captain Skoglund

Silence

Captain Christian Skoglund

Silence

Captain Christian P. Skoglund

Silence

The doors are open. The honor guard does the 21 gun salute and taps are played. We cry.

We are brought to the front where the pictures of all the fallen men are. Andrew leads Elizabeth forward, with tears in his eyes. He has loved Christian and his loss is great. Our country's flag in front of each picture. Christian's flying helmet and boots are there. Kay and I hold hands and cry. Christian was a wonderful son and husband.

There is a reception immediately after. Elizabeth stands receiving people for over two and a half hours. The lines to see her keep increasing. Their Italian friend Marco and his wife come and cry. He met Christian at captains school in Alabama and were reunited over here. They have flown missions together. They have spent personal time together as families. They will come to the house on Sunday to visit with their two girls. There are many Italian military people at the service. We are the last to leave. People still want to speak to her and let her know how much they will miss Christian and Elizabeth. This is a wonderful community here. They are tight knit and devoted to each other. Elizabeth must be exhausted, and I see the line is finished. But then I see her walking over to thank all the people to prepared and served the food. Thanking them for all the work and effort this reception took. I should not be surprised, she is thinking of others as she is walking through her own personal grief and agony. This is what she does. This is who she is. Thank you Father for my wonder daughter.

The company has framed the company flag, included a picture of Christian when he was flying a mission in Kosovo recently and has included words from each of the men in his unit. What a wonderful tribute.

Thank you Father for a mighty man of God, a wonderful husband, son, brother, friend.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Today

We did not cry yesterday, but today..............

"But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave; for he shall receive me." Psalm 49:15

Going Home

Psalm 34:5 "They looked until him, and were lightened, and their faces were not ashamed."

This is true and it is a reality for all of us here in Italy. We have prayed and believed and God has answered. The other reality is that yesterday was hard. They said it would be but they could not describe how hard it would be for all, and we could not have comprehended.

We arrived at the officers club at 3:00pm and met with the wives and families of the other fallen men. It is sad. Dads supporting daughters and parents of the soldiers in mourning. Many "stars" and their wives were there to give condolences and comfort. General Franklin, who has recently taken command of the base, is there and he is a believer. Thank you Father for his sensitivity. We fellowship with different families and meet many people in uniform whom I can not remember individually now, except they were all sharing our grief.

We are instructed to proceed to two buses outside which will take us to the hanger. Our bus is warm, but the sun will soon be setting and a chill is in the air. There is silence on the bus as we approach the airstrip where the huge plane has landed, the back opened, revealing it empty space soon to receive our one that we love so much. The honor guard for each man, six in all, are all standing at attention on one side, and various other military personel are positioned on the other. The families are all instructed to go into the hanger where there are heaters to keep us warm. Flags are held and procedure is followed. the first blue car comes and the pall bearers come forward to receive the body for transfer to the plane. That is hard. The Air Force casualities go first.

We know that Christian will come after the Air Force men have been placed in the plane. We dread seeing the blue van pull up. We hold each other's hands and keep our dark glasses on. I can not describe the honor with which the military conducts this ramp ceremony. The dignity and respect for their men is overwelming. The soldiers are crying too. This is a small bases and lives are so interwoven and connected.

Each family is escorted up onto the plane to the casket of their loved one to spend time with them before the flight to Dover. We are summoned to the front. We are a big group, This, to many, may look like the Nordic Mafia, tall, big, blond men and women all holding hands and marching forward to the dark cavern of the plane. We surround the casket and cry and hold each other. Rick prays through tears and we sing the doxology and I wonder what the lifting notes of victory sound like to those that are outside. Answer our prayer Lord. Victory and Life through the ashes of our tragedy. Elizabeth reminds us that Christian was a man of God and we have hope and encourages us to raise our heads and go in His light.

We return on the bus to the Officers Club and continue to fellowship with many people. Christian's warrent officer looks like he has not slept since the accident and Erik asks if he could pray with him. Comfort from the afflicted. Thank you, Lord. You have given us a hope that can not be taken away and we will not let it go.

Psalm 42:8 "Yet, the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life."

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

She reaches for my hand and draws me into an empty bedroom, for one more decision, one more response to an event, one more mother to mother interaction. We have wept and held each other. We have set out the meals for our families, we have cleaned up the kitchen, prepared beds, taken walks, sat around the table with the causualty officer, looked at wedding albums together. We have ached together for our children, one who is no longer present with us and one who wishes, for now, that she was with him.

After dinner last night while we were cleaning up, the buzzer rang for the gate. Out of the dark emerged four large military people. Why were they here without notification? They always call first. Colonel Krings escorts the parents and Elizabeth into the kitchen for a word with us. The one thing that Phil and Elizabeth really wanted to be done will not happen and they have come to tell us in person. We try to understand, but it is hard. When entering the army one gives up some priviledges and it is hard. The chaplain from Germany explained what will happen during the ramp ceremony. This will be very difficult and we understand. Can we live through one more event?

The Dad's decided we have to pray and ask for strength for tomorrow. We gather in the living room. Rob reads from I John and Rick reads from Romans. Phil shares some of Christian's life and struggles and victories. We pray and pray and ask the Lord that somehow, someway we could be a light to many today. Dear Lord, help us to share your love and our salvation with others. May your light shine through us today.

Monday, November 12, 2007

oneness in Christ

As waves of grief pour over us at times I see brothers from one family reach over to comfort brothers from another family. We are one. The love oF Christ and the burden of grief draws us together.

Family

We are two families living and griefing in the same house. We are together and we are better. Last night we even laughed a bit. Today we are going through pictures and recounting stories and events. There will be a slide show on Thursday at the memorial service so Elizabeth is gathering pictures. The ramp service will be tomorrow at the airport, pray for all of us as we see him placed on the plane.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Friday,Saturday,Sunday

Rob and I arrived in Venice around 2:00pm on Friday. We flew over the Alps which look austere, black, cold and threatening. Good friends of Liz and Christian's, Linda and Tony, picked us up at the airport and sped us home to Liz. She is still in her pajamas with Christian's big grey sweatshirt over her and my only thought is that I want to bring Christian back to her but I can't. We did not have too much time since Christian's boss from Germany came shortly afterwards, with several official people from Germany and Joel Springer, her causualty officer. They sat and spoke with us for some time in the living room, encouraging Elizabeth with words of affirmation about his skill as a pilot, a commander and a leader on the base. They told "Christian stories" and explained the plan for the week. Army generals will come at various times to express condolences, there will be a tea on Tuesday for all the families of the causualities, there will be a service at the plane which takes his body to Dover, and there will be a memorial service here on Thursday morning. He was loved and will be missed greatly. Joel sat with us for some time and explained the process that she will now go through.

They have made this place a home and they were happy here. They started their life out here with so many plans, and hopes, and dreams for the future. And every room in this house shouts out Christian. His touch is everywhere. He has framed all the pictures, places they have been, events have been captured and stored and framed. Furniture that he bought at the first auction he attended at Kipp Blanchard's two years ago. His presence is everywhere.

Rick and Darlene arrived after and we cry again. Liz's house was filled with wonderful, caring friends that they had made over this past year. They brought pillows, blankets, beds,food, water, and various other provisions. This is a very special community here that Christian and Elizabeth were involved in.

I hear from Ethan and he has gone after work to New Jersey. Ryan drives up after work too. The Pierces love on the boys, reassure and comfort and pray for them. Thank you Lord for providing a family when we could not be there.

Psalm 16:8,9 " I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore,my heart is glad and my glory rejoices, my flesh rests in hope".

Saturday, Joel comes around 1:30pm and we continue to go over things. The Skoglunds and my boys arrive and we are all together. We talk, we read the newspaper stories, we share heartaches, we gather around the table and sing the doxology. We set up beds around the house and passed out towels. Jon and Ethan passed out together on the couch along with Elizabeth's two dogs.

Sunday we are all up, although some of us have been up at 2:00am the past two nights for several hours, and off to church we go. The service is focused on God's grace in the midst of tragedy. Another lady in church lost her husband too. We are escorted upstairs after the service to meet with a three star general. He was so gracious, caring and concerned. He and his wife spent a lot of time with the families. Joel came to the house shortly after we arrived home to go over more details. We asked to go over to see Christian's office, Rob and our boys and Erik and Lars had not seen it, and that was approved. We all are driven by the military over to the base. And I was blown away. His whole office is Elizabeth and the Lord. That was his life, Elizabeth and the Lord, and it was there for everyone to see. There are pictures from the wedding on every wall and on his desk. He has Ecclesiastes 3:11-13, 22 framed on his wall. Verse 13 says that "every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is a gift of God." And that was Christian, he worked at something he loved and considered it a gift of God. Proverbs 9:9 was on a sticky note on his computer. "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will yet be wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning". I wept as I saw that his life was so dedicated to my daughter and the Lord. There was nothing more that I could have asked for. This was Christian when he did not know that anyone would be in his office, this was the real person, this was who he was. Dedicated to his Lord and his wife. Thank you so much Lord for him. Christian's dad suggested that we pray in the office which we did and it was so powerful. Rob and Phil will direct our families as we go through this grief together- thank you Father for two godly men who can lead their families to the light.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

TRAGEDY

Two thoughts keep going through my head today.

A terrible tragedy has encompassed the Skoglund and Nordberg families but.... God is good. The Word tells me this so I MUST believe it. God is good and faithful, and just and merciful and compassionate and He is one of us.

The other thought is how can we now live without Christian? It doesn't seem possible. He was bigger than life, wasn't he? He's happy, adventuresome, courageous and we need him. Elizabeth needs him. His parents, brothers and sister needs him. His best friend, Jon, needs him. And the whole Nordberg extended family needs him.

He can't be gone, Father. He just can't be. He's so full of energy, plans, fun, excitment, surprises and kindness. He made Elizabeth happy and Rob and I were so thankful for that. They were going to Malta tomorrow. A wonderful mini vacation for both of them.

We prayed for them this summer. We interceeded for them this summer. The Nordberg's and Skoglund's gathered together in the "wedding room" by the backyard garden and read scripture, asked questions and prayed for their future. We were all together. The Dad's prayed. The Mom's prayed and we cried, because we loved them both and could see such a bright purpose and destiny in them. We asked You for direction, wisdom, opportunities and protection for them.

I was okay at home today. I had to be. Elizabeth is far from me and I have to get there quickly for her. I need to hold her and tell her somehow she will survive and someday she will be okay but for now it is just darkness. This is not right. She was not supposed to be married for just sixteen months. She was supposed to have a life like Grandma and Grandpa, married over 60 years. A life filled with love, trips, children, experiences, ministries, hopes and fulfillment.

Our church is praying. Please, God, may she feel your presence, your nearness, your protection, your love.

The boys are coming. Come quickly my three big, strong, young sons. We need you. We need to hold each other. We need to be together.

The Skoglunds are coming. Parents are not supposed to outlive their children. It's not right. Please, Father God, comfort Kay. Surround her, emcompass her, pour out your healing power on her. She loved him. She raised him, she nurtured him and prayed for him. She knows his stories, fun, naughty, mischievious. He's part of them and they need him. He's their strong, big brother.

Elizabeth, we are coming.... but Jesus is there with you now. Embrace her Lord. Protect her heart. Help Jon, he's hurting so much and we can't be there for him. We need to be together now.

I was okay at home. But I'm not okay now. I have been crying since we have left home and we are almost to Paris now. It has been ten hours and I'm crying and weeping in the midst of hundreds of strangers, who don't know me or Elizabeth or our precious Christian. I'm weeping because Elizabeth's time with Christian was too short. None of us got enough time with him. I'm weeping now because my precious, precious daughters heart is breaking now and Dad and I can not get there quick enough. Will our hearts ever mend? The airline attendants have been so nice. They've brought me kleenex, and extra water, poems written for servicemen and a leather journal to write my thoughts on.

Tragedy happens to other people. People that you see on the news. Not to us. Not to my precious girl. Not to a family I've come to love and appreciate. Tragedy doesnt' come to Christian. NO, NO, NO but it has and I almost can't bear it. It is too much Lord.
(written on the flights to Paris)